Are you constantly feeling stressed, tired, and annoyed? Sit back and relax because you just might be dealing with an emotional vampire. Emotional Vampires are just what the name says.
Instead of feeding off blood they feed off your emotions and physical energy. They can be put in the same class as a parasite. They are satisfied when your life is in shambles.They want to drain you of your sanity and happiness and one thing you can’t do is change people. They have to change themselves. Trying to get someone to change their ways is a problem in itself.
Once you realize that its okay to distance yourself from the people who bring nothing but negative energy around you, you will be much better off.
There are four different types of emotional vampires and they each serve a different purpose of mental and emotional drainage. Even though these people live to drain you, theyare the ones with the problem. They are lacking something within and they need to someone to take it out on. Take a look at the list below to see if you are dealing with an emotional vampire.
1. The Drama Queen/King: These vampires like all eyes on them at all times. They crave attention by any means necessary and when they don’t get that attention all hell breaks loose. Your emotions will constantly be on a ride with this one.
2. The Miserable Vampire: Like the saying goes, Misery loves company and these types of emotional vampires are true examples of that. They complain that nothing is ever going right for them, they are never happy, they complain that the world is out to get them. They don’t want to take responsibility for why their lives
aren’t going well.
3. The Critic: These vampires can’t wait to point out everything that’s wrong with you. They usually talk to people with a superior tone like they are better. They try to make you feel small when deep down they are envious of you about something and they are trying to downplay it.
4. The Narcissist: The mostcommon vampire in my opinion. They think its all about them. They need to be praised, but don’t expect a compliment or anything from them. They don’t care about your feelings and they always find a way to talk about themselves in a conversation. These vampires have a way of making you feel obligated to constantly compliment them and make them feel important. They also have a very cold hearted nature when you don’t do things their way.
So, how do you spot an emotional vampire?
We all know about mythological Vampires, well EV’s (Emotional Vampires) aren’t much different, except they don’t drink blood, but instead they feed on energy of others.
They are addicted to drama and feed of the energy created by the emotions of those involved.
1. They are un-dead
They are not self sufficient.Of course they are not really un-dead, but they are not emotionally self sufficient adults, even though they may seem physically independent.
Instead they take energy/power from others, because they don’t know how to take emotional car of themselves. Their own energy levels are low and so they are needy but also have nothing to give.
2. Cold to touch
In close contact they can be cold and distant, sometimes critical or mean and physically unapproachable, because they are lacking in personal energy and get defensive if others get too close or want something from them. Socially they may seem really friendly, sociable or ‘nice’.
3. Usually highly attractive
Sexual or alluring to the eye or senses: they wholly rely on physical appearance and ‘fake’ smiles, charm, sexual attraction, flirting and dominating or pleasing behavior to get attention, so they can get what they need to survive.
They are hungry for attention so they always need to be in the center of it all (especially drama) or in a position of power in social groups, creating followers
They will often use sex and desire, or passive aggressive manipulation, emotional blackmail or even bullying to get what they need.
5. Don’t feel anything
They avoid their own vulnerabilities and emotional neediness and so are shut down to all pain, love etc and become closed hearted.
6. Live in the shadows
They will always be the first to save/rescue someone else who is needy. They are attracted to fear, anxiety and generating drama, as fear is predictable and a controllable energy and appears to them in abundance.
7. Have a dark presence
Because they are low in energy, they can either appear dark, mean and brooding or will leave you feeling that way after spending too much time with them.
8. They have no reflection
They don’t like themselves or what they see in the mirror, so they wear a mask to hide their true selves. They cannot handle any criticism or real non-power based affection from other people.
9. Light can kill them
They can end their vampire ways and become truly a living human being: if they open their hearts and share their real selves, shine their inner light to the world and be open to love.
How To Save Yourself From An Emotional Vampire
You cannot always get away from EV’s, especially if they are members of your family, work colleagues or friends, but you can learn to protect yourself whilst you live among them. Here are my top survival techniques.
1. Keep your distance until you are able to sustain yourself energetically, be grounded in yourself and strong enough to repel their advances. Only spend short periods of time with them.
2.Take care of your own health: Eat healthily, sleep well, do exercise, have fun time and rest time; build up your physical energy reserves and fitness.
3. Give yourself time and space: Reflect on how you feel physically, emotionally and spiritually: value your emotions and take care of them.
4. Trust your instinct and value its opinion: it will help you spot a vampire and know when they are trying to drain you, so you can protect yourself.
5. Have self respect and self preservation and be able to say NO: set inner boundaries/defense and emotional distance; build inner strength
6. Make time to play and have fun with non-vampires: And on your own, so that your energy is full.
7. Be open and affectionate with people you trust: smile, hug, shake hands etc. The key is to be like the sun: overflowing with your own self sustainable energy, shining brightly, and taking great care of yourself in all ways.
Is it possible to save an Emotional Vampire?
If you have read this and are now freaked out because you realize that your friends, family, colleagues or even your partner are possibly EV’s; take action and implement the survival techniques.
You can’t rescue an EV. They have to want to rescue themselves and be willing to make the changes. If you try, all you end up doing is sacrificing yourself and being drained dry or turning into an Emotional Vampire yourself.
I know this may seem harsh, but the best thing you can do for them is to demonstrate that there is another way of being. Or You Simply just have to walk away.